Friday, 24 June 2016
Since my accident and being mostly housebound I have been a sitting duck for "visitors".
I have to confess here that both my husband and I are not at all fond of "visitors". By that I mean those folk who turn up , usually unannounced, for no reason at all, just for a "chat".
They tend to plonk themselves down in a seat and stay put for quite a while. One visitor I had stayed for two and a half hours...just talking. Not about anything specific, not gossiping, just...talking.
We do have visitors, but they come for a purpose and have rung before hand to ask if and when it is convenient. They turn up, stay for a short while and then go again. That is what a visitor should be and do.
We prefer to be contacted by phone, letter or cards rather than being "visited"...especially when I am stuck inside with no escape!! At least you can make excuses to postpone a visit if someone phones first.
We are a small family and apart from one daughter who lives round the corner, they are not nearby so visits have to be organised and co-ordinated...just how we like it.
People have their own lives to lead and don't want all and sundry turning up out of the blue, I don't do it to them and hope that they don't do it to us! My family are well aware that if I am ill or in hospital then I want leaving alone to hibernate and recover.
As a child my Mother was a 'professional visitor' who made it her business to visit anybody and everybody who had been taken ill or had problems or difficulties. This visiting was reciprocated and our house always had an assortment of unknown folk traipsing in and out, so am guessing that my dislike of the ad hoc visiting stems from that.
No doubt a psychologist would have a field day with that.
Before we moved to this town I too was a 'professional visitor', but structured and trained within the Methodist Church as a Pastoral Visitor. We were each assigned two or three church members who we 'kept an eye on', some we visited more regularly than others, at their request and with their permission. Pastoral Visiting is something non conformist churches are very good at.
Am sure that many of you love visiting just to chat but I have never been part of the drop in for coffee brigade that many of my neighbours seem to be. It is unnecessary. That doesn't mean that I don't talk to my neighbours, we all get on fine but we talk about specifics..for example, I have been asked to water next doors plant whilst they are on holiday and we all take parcels in for one another.
Now my mobility is increasing and I can get out and about am hoping that my ad hoc visitors will take the hint.